Throwback Thursday #02

I mentioned in my previous posts before that I used to run and was obsessively concerned about my weight, and in general, my health. It was around 2015 (5 years ago, woah!!) and I used to participate in most of the local races held within our area (and of course, I can afford to pay the race kits — I was a starving independent contractor back then). I was also active in blogging my running experience back then, but after my dreadful half mary incident, I stopped running and working out all together. And I was spiraling back to bad thoughts (couldn’t consider it if it was depression and I don’t want to use that word lightly) and I gained so much weight after.

And it was horrible.

I have a love/hate relationship with my weight and I was really insecure with how I looked. I remember penning quite a lot of sad and negative posts in my previous blog before which actually made my bestfriend who now lives in Japan asking me if I was OK. She was actually very supportive of me and she would check up on me and would tell me that I am beautiful and I shouldn’t feel sad about gaining so much weight.

I just accepted the fact that I am big and you know what, that’s OK. 🙂

Years passed by and I just stopped stressing out about my weight. I lived a sedentary lifestyle and just focused on my projects and other hobbies as well (online shopping is a hobby). Then I need to get some dental work last year and my Orthodontist said I need braces to fix my bite (reason why I also have such huge jaw line) and the obvious crooked and gaps in my teeth.

After that, I didn’t actually changed my diet after I got braces. But it was hard actually to bite and chew in the first few months after my Ortho installed my braces. But I was still eating a lot. RICE IS LIFE! I was still eating three cups of rice.

But I actually lost some weight and my jaw is significantly no longer prominent. I was surprised honestly because I never thought getting dental braces will make me lose some weight. I’m actually OK with what I looked before, but I will be lying if I said that I didn’t like what I look now. It improved my self esteem and though I would still feel insecure sometimes, I was always reminded that no matter what I look, all that matters is I am healthy and I don’t let what other people say about me get the best of me. I remember back then how people would often fat-shame me. It was not cool and please, don’t do that. The same people would still find flaws about me and that made me realized that some people just want pull other people down. I learned to ignore them and stay happy and content with what I look and what I have right now.

I may bounce back to my old weight in the future but I don’t worry about that anymore. All that matters, again, is I am healthy and I am happy!

xoxo